Tears of my Soul
by Luna of Burg
Summary: My second Angst fanfic. This is a continuation of Day I Died


  
  
Tears of my Soul  
  
  
  
Author's Notes- This is kind of continuing of Day I Died, but this happens before it, before Hikaru, Umi, and Ascot died. This is how Ascot got killed and how Umi basically killed Hikaru. And how did Umi become so insane about Ascot's death? Read to find out! This is sorta a trilogy I am working on, and this is the second part!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Life. It is what everyone yearns for. We want to live, don't we? We want to live to be with the people we love and care about. But, what if we have nothing to live for? Then, maybe we want to die, we want to die to escape the pain. But why? If we want to die, why do we want to live? It doesn't make sense. I want to live to be with the people I love, I want to protect them. But, why do I not want to die? If everyone who lives wants to die, then why don't I? Am I different then them? I didn't want to think that. I had a different matter on hands right now.  
  
I heard his scream pierce the air. It wasn't cold or sad, but it still hurt to hear. His scream was full of pain and agony, something I never wanted to scream. He knew he wasn't going to make it, it was in his beautiful green eyes. He looked at her, his eyes bearing tears.   
"U-u-Umi?" he managed to choke out. She looked at him, no tears falling from her blue eyes. Her eyes didn't even seem saddened, they seemed full of shock. I guess she didn't realize he was dying.   
  
Blood. Blood dripped from his chest. Blood dripped everywhere. I saw tears fall from his eyes again. Umi just starred, shocked.   
"A-a-ashit-t-ter-ru-u..." he stuttered. I saw Umi mimic the word.   
"Ashiteru?" she said out loud.   
"Ascot! Nooooooo! Don't leave me!" she wailed into the night. His cold, lifeless body fell limp in her arms. Then, her tears fell from her eyes.   
  
I starred in horror. I hadn't... couldn't have done anything to help. Umi's body shock uncontrollably. Her wails of terror stretched into the night. I couldn't help but fell sorry for her.   
"Umi?" I asked as I engulfed her in a hug.   
"Don't touch me... DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screamed loudly. I fell backwards, shocked. She had never yelled at me like that before. I then felt my own tears falling freely as I walked away.  
  
It was a week after he died. He left her. He left her and she was so lonely. I knew something was wrong at that moment. But I didn't know what. I heard someone scream. Was it Umi?  
"Umi!" I screamed as I ran into her room. She was laughing... she was laughing evilly. She had gone insane. I nearly screamed again when I saw the knife in her hands, she was holding it above her heart.   
"Noooo!" I screamed and grabbed the knife from her. Rage and anger filled her eyes. I didn't expect what would come next.  
  
Pain. That was the one word that filled me head as I starred at the knife in my stomach. I didn't know what was happening, all I knew was the pain in my stomach.   
"Aieeeeeee!" I screamed as blood poured out of my wound. My world was fading, but I felt more pain. I felt hands against my chest and face, punching me hard, and I felt her kicking me hard too. I finally went numb and just whimpered. The pain left me, and my world went black.  
  
I awoke in my room. I looked at the bandages. I saw Lantis starring at me, tears in his eyes. I had never seen him cry before. My heart hurts seeing him cry. Then, all at once, the pain came back. I closed my eyes and fought it off. I sighed and felt my world slipping away. Why? Why did this happen to me? Was this my punishment for being a murderer? I didn't know, I only knew that I was... no, I wasn't going to die. I would heal and life would go on, life had to go on!  
  
But, I knew that was only a dream. Lantis left shortly due to a problem in Cephiro and I felt so alone. Coldness was overtaking my body. I felt everything slipping away. How could she do this to me? I trusted her... I trusted her, and she betrayed me. I was lost forever, if forever was only a few more hours, I would be happy.  
  
Death. The word lingered in my mind. I wasn't scared of it anymore. I had finally found out what that word truly meant. Death meant that when you have nothing to live for, you die. I didn't have anything to live for, I didn't have anyone to live for. Oh sure, I had Lantis, but I also loved Eagle. And he had died too. So, why was I fighting to stay alive? Why was I fighting so hard? I knew Lantis would find another... he had too. I knew I truly had nothing to live for...  
  
I smiled bitterly. Why was I trying to stay concise? Why was I trying to live? The darkness was calling to me! I should just give in. A knock on the door startled me.  
"Come in." I managed weakly. Clef entered the room and sat before me.  
"Don't give in, fight this!" he said. I laughed at him. He looked confused.  
"I give up... I have lost everything already, so why not just give up?" I asked. I closed my eyes and uncouiness over took me.   
"Hikaru!" I heard Clef scream right before the darkness consumed me.  
  
  
  
  
  



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